There is a great post by Tim Chambers over at Confluenceblog.com. His words seem to describe what Paul the Apostle wrote about the believers conflicted groaning associated with the internal sanctification process.
As I continue in this journey, my greatest disappointment is with myself more than others. The sin-fluence upon my attitude, reactions, and words so pain the heart with heaviness and disappointment, that I often feel utterly embarrassed to approach the very throne of grace in order to obtain mercy and find the grace I need to help in my sin based weakness.
I agree that “struggling meaningfully forward” toward Chrislikeness is an emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually painful process.
” I wanted to make the case that the primary way Christians will experience suffering is as the inevitable and direct result of their desire to be holy. This suffering will be primarily internal, which often means “worse than physical.” It will be spiritual, emotional and psychological pain over the difference between the character of Jesus and our own. It will be the pain of sacrificial love. It will be the pain of daily acting against some strong desire. It will be the difficultly of turning my back on privilege and power like Jesus did in his incarnation. It will involve carrying my cross to the place of my death at the exact moment that I feel the least able to do so. It will involve self-denial that fasting may assist but can never fulfill. It will be profound grief at my residual pride and insecurity. The greater my desire to be like Jesus in every way, the more of this pain I will experience.”