Category Archives: infidelity

How Did We Get Here?

imagesThis week Ministry Today  posted an article that cited some very disturbing statistics regarding the alarming condition of today’s ministers in the church. How did we get here?

  • 38 percent of ministers have admitted to having a one-time or ongoing affair since they began their ministry.
  • Even more have admitted to looking at pornography via their computers at home and or at their church office.
  • 77 percent of ministers surveyed admitted that they do not have a good marriage.
  • 1,500 pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches, never returning to the ministry.


John Piper: Sexual Sin In Ministry

 Wisdom from the heart of a true father!


“For the last twenty years thousands of men from across America struggling with sexual sin have come to our intensive counseling workshop. Over half were pastors and missionaries.

I wish our experience was unique.

Several years ago a seminary professor told me: “We no longer ask our entering students if they are struggling with pornography, we assume every student is struggling. The question we ask: ‘How serious is the struggle?’”

One missions agency told me that 80% of their applicants voluntarily indicate a struggle with pornography, resulting in staff shortages on the field.

Pornography is just one level of sin, a form of visual sex, or heart adultery. Physical adultery includes an affair, multiple affairs, prostitution, and homosexuality. Other sexual behaviors within the ministry are such heinous “unfruitful works of darkness . . . it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret” (Ephesians 5:11–12).

To face the crisis we must correctly understand the nature of the problem, ask God to search our own hearts, and be committed to restore each one caught in sexual sin “in a spirit of gentleness” (Galatians 6:1).”


Navigating A Moral Crisis

Tullian Tchividjian is the Senior Pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. He recently discovered that a high-ranking staff member in the church was guilty of engaging in marital infidelity.

I personally appreciate the explanation of how he navigated the troubled waters of such a moral crisis on a Sunday morning with his congregation.

Especially insightful is his approach to actionable discipline and restoration. He referred to  it as being a “two-word church” rather than merely a “one-word church”. This brief  excerpt illustrates  the difference.What a balanced, mature, and wise distinction.

His illustration with the prodigal is simply priceless!


“I preached from Galatians 5:13, and among the things I emphasized and explained to our church was that we are not a one-word community (law or gospel) but a two word community (law then gospel). A law-only community responds to a situation like this by calling for the guy’s head (sadly, many churches are guilty of this). These churches lick their chops at the opportunity to excommunicate. A gospel-only community responds by saying, “We’re no better than he is, so why does he have to lose his job? After all, don’t we believe in grace and forgiveness?” A one word community simply doesn’t possess the biblical wisdom or theological resources to know how to deal with sinners in an honest, loving, and appropriate way.

Explaining that we are a law-gospel community, I showed how pastorally this means we believe God uses his law to crush hard hearts and his gospel to cure broken hearts. The law is God’s first word; the gospel is God’s final word. And when we rush past God’s first word to get to God’s final word and the law has not yet had a chance to do its deep wrecking work, the gospel is not given a chance to do its deep restorative work. Sinners never experience the freedom that comes from crying “Abba” (gospel) until they first cry “Uncle” (law).”

I illustrated this point by reminding our church that the father of the prodigal son did not fall to his knees and wrap his arms around his sons legs as the son was leaving, but as he was returning. He had been waiting, looking to the horizon in hope. When he saw his son coming home, crushed and humbled, he ran to him. But he didn’t stop him from leaving. He didn’t rescue his son from the pigsty. If we really love people and want to see them truly set free, we have to get out of God’s way and let the law do its crushing work so that the gospel can do its curing work.”


Posted by on September 14, 2012 in Accountability, Church Discipline, gospel, infidelity, justice


Conquering Temptation With Fear?

Anthony Weiner

Image via Wikipedia

Are Pastors and Politicians simply  “losing their minds” in order to gain satisfaction of their hidden lusts?

 Weinergate is further documentation that we are in some serious trouble folks. Flagrant deception, covetousness, hypocrisy, camouflaged with  bold public  lies.

Dr. Russell Moore tackles the flagrant sin issue and goes to the root of the problem in his “Are You Smarter Than Anthony Weiner” article. 

 Moore is Dean of the School of Theology  at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY.


“Almost every adultery situation I’ve ever seen includes a cheating spouse who honestly believes that he or she is not going to get caught. The cheater often doesn’t want the marriage to end in divorce. Instead, like the characters in today’s headlines, he or she instead wants to keep everything the same: spouse, kids, and lover too. That’s irrational and completely contrary to the way the world works. Anyone can see that.

But you can convince yourself…or be convinced…that it will work for you. You’re special, after all. That’s the way temptation functions. We put consequences out of our minds, both temporal and eternal consequences. We start to believe that we are gods, with power over good and evil and life and death. And then we do crazy things.

This doesn’t have anything to do with intelligence. Satan is hyper-intelligent. And yet, even knowing that he will ultimately have his skull crushed, he rages all the more against Christ and his people, “because he knows his time is short” (Rev. 12:12). In terms of the most basic principles of military strategy, that’s crazy. What we need is not intelligence, but wisdom. Wisdom includes seeing where the way I want to go will lead (Prov. 14:12).

I don’t know who you are, reader, but I know you are probably not smarter than Anthony Weiner or Arnold Schwarzenegger or John Edwards. And neither am I. Both of us, you and I, are on the verge of wrecking our lives. We’re probably not on the verge of a situation quite like any of those men, but the gospel tells us we have vulnerabilities just the same, and they all can lead to destruction.The answer isn’t found in talent or in strategy or in brilliance. It’s found in fear, the fear of the Lord and the vision of his future.
Lord have mercy.”


Posted by on June 7, 2011 in infidelity, marriage, temptation


Tags: , ,

Randy Whites DUI and Eddie Longs Secret Settlement

The capture of Christ (detail)

Image via Wikipedia

 Eddie Long and Randy White are guilty of biblical anarchy and  behavioral Antinomianism. Peter clearly commands,”If you suffer public humiliation as a Christian , it must not be because you are a…criminal. [1 Peter 4:15[

Randy White was just busted for DUI and Eddie Long  ponied up an undisclosed amount in a  secret financial settlement to cover up  homosexual activity with at least four other men. The settlement keeps the testimony out of the public arena. Wonder what happened to “the David fighting Goliath declaration?” Mere idle words to buy time to keep the crowds and the money coming in till he could  run for legal cover. Snakes are known to do that you know. 

Both Men were  personally confronted long before these recent acts of criminal corruption and should be viewed as completely disqualified from ministerial office as public representatives of Christ.

Through the Apostle Paul, Christ himself prescribed the life long qualifying standards for representatives of his throne in ministerial service:

Now the overseer must be above reproach, self-controlled, respectable, not a drunkard and he must have a good reputation with those outsider the Christian faith so that he does not fall into disgrace”.

Oh well, unprincipled mercy is sure to win the day again as the ignorant and unprincipled rush in to  sustain, support, and  promote the Antinomians.

Paula White, Benny Hinns recent heart throb, addressed her ex-husband’s arrest Sunday morning:

“This ministry is a ministry of restoration. This ministry does not compromise the principles of God, but we are the perfect church for people who are not,” she said, according to a transcript posted on the church’s website.

“That doesn’t mean I am an enabler. That doesn’t mean I condone. That doesn’t mean I agree with things. It means that I will help you walk through life. And I want you to walk with me through life. And I think that’s what the church is all about.”

Translation? I will condone,enable, and basically do whatever it takes as long as you people  attend and “show me the money!”

Read the details:


Tags: , , , ,

Ted Haggard Confesses He is Bisexual

Awakening of the Liar

Image via Wikipedia

The disgraced-but-reinvented Pastor admitted he is bisexual in a February interview with GQ magazine. [See his comments below]

This comes after Haggard has insisted repeatedly on multiple television talk shows,with  supportive wife at his side, that he is a “straight” heterosexual.

Nothing quite like a self appointed defrocked  minister stating  to the public  for years that  he is heterosexual,  “coming out” with he is really bisexual.  Ted also admits that he used to watch gay porn, was – and probably still is – a compulsive masturbator! 

What is most startling is that Haggard states the only reason he is content  to stay with his wife and have sex with her is  because of his age.  He is 54…but, if he were 21…wahoooooooo!

Any  casual bible reader knows that after 21, it’s biblically unlawful to swing both ways! But if Ted dared to go  AC / DC  at age  54, he  would really violate biblical guidelines for practicing homosexual/heterosexual sex.

I really appreciate Pastor Haggards personal conviction to maintain a sense of biblical integrity for “age appropriate” bi-sexuality!  [for the ignorant and gullible,that is mockery and sarcasm folks on my part]

And people wonder why I get soooo ticked at the flagrant “purposeful suspension of disbelief” that christians are guilty of today. These same people watch wrestling because they choose to “disbelieve” all the fakeeeeery.

It’s  this kind of ” ignorance sustained by intentional denial” by goofy- gullible sheep that enables charlatans like Ted Haggard to even exist in “ministry” today.

 Oh yeah, he also said that he once believed the church was the light of the world, [Jesus words] but now states he no longer believes that. However, against that belief, he went out and started his own “St James Church” and announced he would welcome “gay, straight, and bi”……and we now know why!

Why can’t people see  the flagrant lies and contradictions cloaked in ole Teddy’s deception?

Just goes to show that the country song got it right after all: ” God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy!


[Ted to GQ]

 “I think that probably, if I were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual,” the pastor told the magazine.    In the article, the pastor admits that he was sexually molested at age 7, used to watch gay porn and was a compulsive masturbator. But he’s 54, Haggard adds, so he’s content to “exclusively have sex with my wife and be perfectly satisfied.”;lst;1


Tags: , ,

This Will Scare The Sin Out Of You!

In this months newsletter, Chuck Swindoll shares a real life moment wherein  he confesses to experiencing the temptational urge to succumb to infidelity.  He roots his strength for “flight” in the spiritual discipline of hiding God’s word in his heart.

Fleeing sexual compromise and marital infidelity are both “word based and fear oriented.” Why? Because God has made it clear that he will not be mocked! Whatever a man sows, he will reap…and that should scare the sin out of us!


“Many years ago, when our children were still in school, Cynthia stayed home with them while I flew to Canada for a full week of ministry. I was exhausted by Friday night, so I grabbed a hamburger at the hotel café and headed back to my room.

I can still hear my heels tap across the polished floor of the big rotunda-like lobby leading to the hotel elevators. I pushed “up,” stepped into the empty elevator, and before the doors closed, two very attractive women walked in. I pushed “six,” and asked, “Which floor would you like?”

In unison, they said, “Six would be fine.” Both smiled, looked at each other, and then one of them looked back at me with eyebrows raised and said, “How ‘bout it?”

I won’t lie to you. For a brief moment, the offer seemed inviting. But immediately something powerful happened within me. In the recesses of my mind, I recalled the words my mother had drilled into me as a little boy when she and I memorized Scripture together over the kitchen table. They were: “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap” (Galatians 6:7). I repeated those words slowly in my mind.

I quickly answered, “No thanks, I’m not interested. I’ve got more than I can keep up with at home.” Then the doors opened and I stepped out . . . alone. When I got to my room, I leaned against the wall in a cold sweat thinking, Thank You, Lord, for Your powerful Word!”

Leave a comment

Posted by on January 8, 2011 in character, infidelity, sanctification, temptation


Tags: , ,

%d bloggers like this: