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Seven Predictors of Marital Divorce

10 May
Day 150: And that's that.

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John  Gottman is a Ph.D. psychologist known for his work on marital stability and considered to be one of the top 10 most influential therapist of the last century. He is also a Professor Emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington.

World renowned for his 35 years of breakthrough research on marriage and relationship analysis,  Dr.Gottman developed a model to predict which couples will remain married and which will divorce with a 90% accuracy.

Gottman says there are two major seasons when  marriages fail and couples opt for divorce. The initial season is within the first seven years and the second is between 16-20 years of marriage.   

After viewing a  program last night about the new existence of  “divorce insurance” companies,[see below]  maybe it’s time for us all to  undertake a relational  inventory of  our own marriage covenant and  sift through the baggage to see  where we are  in light of these seven indicators that reveal a marriage is  in serious trouble.

Review these observable  indicators and then  give a listen to Dr. Gottman:

1.Harsh Start Arguments that reflect sarcasm and insults

2.Criticism that attacks the spouse rather than the problem

3.Contempt  expressed through disgust,disrespect,sarcasm,eye-rolling and condescension

4.Defensiveness that conveys I am not the problem while justifying personal behavior

5.Flooding of physiological changes:  increase of adrenaline, heart rate,and respiration

6. Stonewalling by emotional, relational, communicational, and physical withdrawal

7.  Repair Attempts that Fail due to one trying to repair or de-eschalate tension but is ignored  

http://www.gottman.com/51326/Dr-John-Gottman.html

http://www.lisalundmft.com/The_Four_Horsemen_of_the_Apocalypse.html

http://www.wedlockdivorceinsurance.com/

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