Priceless Suggestions For Church Directories

30 Apr

Priceless!  Simply Priceless!


“…Before anyone starts updating the church directory, you need to consider how you could improve it. Every church directory has to be better than the one before. You can’t just add the new people to the same old directory format.I don’t know if my church will actually use these, but here are some new features to improve the next church directory:

1. Back-of-the-head photos

The pictorial directory is nice, but it really helps just the pastor since he’s the only one who sees people’s faces during church. Everyone else sees the backs of heads. So the new church directory should have pictures of the fronts and backs of heads.

2. Seating chart

The other problem is that people sit in the same spots every week, so the back-of-the-head photo works only for the people in front of them. The church directory should be updated so that it lists their information, gives the front and back photos, and shows where they sit in the sanctuary (“left side, 4th pew from the front, near center aisle” or, if your church is fancy, “section B3, seat 12″)

3. Paperless Option

All my bills and statements are going paperless, why not the church directory? If only there were an internet service that let you store your information and let you link with other people in the church and then you could see their information, in perhaps a social networky kind of way…

Yeah, someone should create that. I’m thinking that might get pretty popular. We could call it some catchy name (I’m still working on that – all the obvious names are taken). And we’d have to make up some trendy term for the process of linking with fellow church-goers…maybe we’d “membership” them.

(I know “membership” isn’t really a trendy term right now, but we could make it trendy. Then once it caught on, we could make a movie, maybe a church-ville game, who knows?)

I’m sure there are a bunch of ways to improve the church directory. Any other suggestions? Or what does your church do if it doesn’t publish a directory?

(For more great stuff from Some Guy, make sure you check out his blog

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Posted by on April 30, 2011 in humor


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