Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage

04 Nov

I recently received a call from one of our ministers who was engaged in counselling  a married woman contemplating a divorce. This is not unique, since ministers  are  frequently confronted with the ethic  associated with covenant dissolution. With  that moral dilemma comes the question of remarriage.

  Kevin DeYoung  generously posted the full manuscript of a message wherein he addressed the complex nature of this sensitive issue . The scenarios he poses definitely reveal the power of sin to  complicate our lives. Read the full article that addresses 7 principles   involved when addressing these  situations.



•    A wife commits adultery. She is repentant and wants to save the marriage. The husband knows he must forgive, but he wants to file for divorce? Would you grant him that right? Does it make any difference if the wife was frequently unfaithful?

•    A wife gets a divorce because of marital unfaithfulness? You’ve determined she has legitimate grounds for that divorce. Is she then free to remarry? What if the husband repents, is he? Or only to his ex-wife? And what if she gets remarried, does that change his obligation?

•    A non-Christian couple gets a divorce. Later the man becomes a Christian and realizes the divorce was wrong. Is he obligated to try to win back his non-Christian ex-wife? What if he tries to be reconciled and his ex-wife has no interest, is he free to remarry in the Lord?

•    A remarried couple comes to realize their divorce and remarriage was sinful. Are they committing adultery by staying married? If they stay married, what should they do to make things right? Can they be members in the church? What about leaders?

•    Both husband and wife commit adultery. They both have grounds for divorce and they are both the “guilty” party. Would you allow a divorce? Two years later they are both sincerely repentant. Should they remarry each other? Could they remarry someone else?


Posted by on November 4, 2010 in charismatic, doctrine, Uncategorized


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2 responses to “Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage

  1. Wilkzhie Silva

    November 20, 2010 at 10:17 am

    Pastor Hanner…..How about if a man beats up his wife and keeps threatening her that if she ever says anything he will take their 6 month daughter away from her…?

  2. RGH

    November 20, 2010 at 8:09 pm

    Here is how I would handle the situation:
    >Spousal abuse should be reported to police by the wife immediately [911]and without fail. It is a matter of biblical and social justice. Have him arrested without hesitation.
    >Pastor and elders promptly notified should inserert themselves immediately through disciplinary action. If spouse is in danger,assist in removal from the home to place of safety.
    >Galatians 6:1-5 walked our by implementing a robust process that provides for genuine fruit unto repentance by the abuser that mandates legal,relational and family restitution by requiring counselling with a psychologist along with eldership accountability. I would insist abuser enroll in a a class on abuse to be completed. [Failue to adhere to or fulfill any and all would be evidence of unrepentance. In that case, I would walk our full disciplinary measures and if continued obstinance, view the unrepentant as “Worse than an infidel who has deserted his family in spirit and letter. Divorce would then be an option.
    >However, If abuser demonstrates repentant humility thru all the above, professional marriage counselling should then be set up and regular meetings with the minister.

    Lastly, since the arrest for spousal abuse is public, I would require the abuser to go before “a members only ” private congregational meeting and confess his sin. this allows for corporate accountability and allows reverent fear to come upon all.
    Hope that helps!


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